THE STORY OF THE BLACK HAT
Usually the black hat represents the bad guy in a Western, but it has a very different meaning here. When I was twelve years old, I developed a thing for cowboy hats. Why? I'm still not entirely sure. I grew up in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. There were no cowboys to be found. My first hat was a straw department store knock-off from JC Penney. It liked it. It spent many hours perched on my 70s winged hairdo.
But there was a western ware store in the mall (I still shopped in malls then) that had this gorgeous black felt Stetson. I wanted that hat. I ACHED for that hat. After a long string of babysitting gigs, it was mine! I ADORED this hat. I wore it everywhere I could. I even wore it to school, much to the chagrin of my much more popular friend. She hinted and hinted that I ditch the embarrassing adornment. I didn't take the hint. One day she announced, "if you keep wearing that hat, I'm not walking to school with your anymore!" My reply? "Ok... I know the way to school." I wore that hat well into high school. It just made me happy. It made me feel like me. With the transition to college in Boston and the need for headgear that covered my ears, I put my hat aside.
It stayed with me in my heart, though. Two decades later, in my first exploration with telling personal stories on stage, my black hat became a symbol for the many times in my life I found myself speaking up about what mattered to me. This Truth Speaking has usually generated the same level of annoyance and rejection that my black hat generated with my friend. The consequences have been significant. So much so that I tried at several points in my life to wear less controversial hats - to lay low, blend in, keep it to myself. But I realized in each case I was betraying myself. I felt smaller, I felt phony. That was not a trade-off I was willing to make. It was more painful to stay silent than to speak.
Authenticity matters. When we are able to live as our authentic selves, we are happier and more empowered as people and better able to give back to our communities and our world. Despite the consequences, I feel called to stay true to what I believe and the vision I hold for humanity. Living this is a promise I've made to myself and the world.
I have a story to tell. Telling it not only helps me stand in a new and stronger version of myself, it gives others room to explore and step into their own truths. Speaking what's in my heart makes me happy because it makes me feel like me.
My Substack is now called Voices from the Black Hat where I tell and explore the stories of living my personal code no matter what. Many of these voices appear in my solo theater show, My Year of Saying No. The Black Hat also takes center stage in my coaching work where I help you connect to the authentic version of you so you can actually show up in your life as yourself. This is how you actually draw in the life crave.
You, too, have a story to tell. You have an authentic self that best serves you and the world. You have your own Black Hat. Want to find that voice? Join me on Substack, https://blackhatvoices.substack.com.
Want more personal support? Visit https://www.janicecreneti.com for my coaching programs and storytelling workshops. You can also find out about upcoming performances of My Year of Saying No.
